Originally posted on Facebook 7/10/12
So, with everyone giving it the 'Ohh, I'm cooking the Hairy Biker's Barbeque' or 'I've just made the Hairy Bikers Jam Roly-Poly' - I've decided to share some recipes that me and my old mate Scots Mick used to throw together, In that we've both an interest in motorcycles and we're both (to a greater or lesser extent) hairy.
The 'Yeah, should be fine' Chilli
1. Hang around outside a function room that's holding a badly attended party.
2. After the few guests leave and the organisers troop out with the food, muttering about what a waste it all is, ask them 'Are you going to throw that away?'
3. Look at them like Puss in Boots from Shrek
4. Realise that that doesn't really work when you're not a cartoon
5. Get them to empty everything off the plates and platters into a bin liner.
6. Go home and pour the contents of the bin liner into a cauldron
7. Pour in a couple of cans of chopped tomatos
8. Add a bottle of chilli sauce.
9. Put on a slow heat and stir, occasionally saying things like 'Is that cauliflower?' and 'Should we have taken the bread off the egg mayonnaise sandwiches first?'
10 Go to pub
11 Leave pub, remembering that you don't need to go to the Greek as you have hot food at home
12 Divide the chilli up between all willing participants, setting aside anything you can't actually recognise
13 Eat, incredibly gingerly
14 Wish you'd gone to the Greek
Coming soon: The Baby Carrot and Concussion Chilli (With Rottweiler Sauce)